Thursday, March 14, 2013

“But Mommy I don’t want to grow up!” – How Murphy’s Law turns kids into grown ups...


* Post delayed as a result of flooding, asbestos, job loss, and general meh-ness *


This last chapter in the lives of this girl and her geek is evidence that Murphy is alive, well, and still getting his jollies by taking potshots at kids. Sure, the Alpha Geek and I may look like grown adults, but that in no way implies that we agreed to grow up. We find that there is much more fun to be had in being kids at heart. I don’t know what the Alpha Geek did to tick Murphy off, but it sure seems like there is a vendetta there that I now find myself a victim of by association.

In case you have been living under a rock, Murphy’s Law states that “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Kids-at-heart like the geek and I prefer to live in a world where the worst thing that can go wrong is having a Lego pop off your Bat Cave when you are connecting the holding cell. Unfortunately, Murphy has this nasty habit of doing everything he can to make that Lego masterpiece fall on the floor and break into its composite pieces. It is my belief that this is what makes kids “grow up.”  

While all adults are kids who got older, not all of them grew up. The way I see it, growing up means dealing with life in a mature manner based on society’s expectations without regard for personal fulfillment. It is the response to perceived necessity; do what is socially acceptable or things will just get worse for you. The childish response of throwing a tantrum when your apartment gets flooded won’t solve the problem, but discussing the problem calmly and professionally just might.

Murphy decided to try to make my geek and I grow up by flooding our apartment, exposing asbestos, prolonging repairs for 5 weeks, and getting me laid off. While we were forced to grow up somewhat in the sense that we couldn’t throw a tantrum, I am pleased to report that despite Murphy’s best efforts to depress us into becoming boring, downtrodden, socially integrated adults, the Alpha Geek and I have managed to maintain our appreciation of simple things and ability to have fun in the most frustrating of situations. Now if I can just figure out what to do with all of these Legos…

In conclusion and for your enjoyment, here are some of the most amusing interpretations of Murphy’s Law that I found online:

·         If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
·         Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
·         Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
o   ie: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
·         Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
·         The first myth of management is that it exists.
·         If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
·         If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
·         If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
·         If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
·         Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
·         Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
·         Every solution breeds new problems.
·         When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
·         Smile... tomorrow will be worse.
·         You never run out of things that can go wrong.
·         Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
·         An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
·         A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
·         If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
·         If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
·         Everything takes longer than you think.
·         You never find a lost article until you replace it.
·         Mother nature is a b!*©#

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